Thursday, April 21, 2011

I Spend Way Too Much Time Alone

I really do.  And because of this, I think too much (yes, there is such a thing).  I over-think everything that happens and often come to the wrong conclusion.  Someone will mention a medical condition and I think "oh geez, do I have that?"  I start analyzing the symptoms and find that they match... but it could also be some kind of weird hypochondria that happens BECAUSE I heard about it.

The thing is, I can't really think of a solution to this.  The easiest is of course, go out more.  However, the problem with that is I don't really have anyone to hang out with.  I would love to be more sociable, but the people I feel I could call to socialize either do not live in the same town or are constantly busy with other things (work, school, work, significant others, work, etc.).

Compounding this issue is the fact that I'm rubbish at making new friends.  Sure, I make friends easy enough when it happens, but it just sort of does.  I have no control over it.  Several times I have legitimately tried to go somewhere with the intentions of meeting people and it was an abject failure.

This whole blog post is a result of over-thinking.  I'm having one of those days where nothing is really going on and I just spend all my time in my head.  Nothing good comes of this, which is why I generally try to keep myself busy.  Hell, it's part of the reason I wanted to tackle VEDA and BEDA this month.  Figured if I could keep my mind occupied, these idiotic thoughts wouldn't clutter my head.

Yeah, we see how well that works.

A day of rendering video and slow uploading to Youtube gives me plenty of dreaded "time to think."

Normally I would use that free time to read or clean, but I haven't even felt like doing that today.  I'm behind on Script Frenzy, but do I take this free time to work on my writing?  No.  My mind is already running on this particular line of thought and nothing seems to be able to interrupt it.

I almost wish the characters I've been creating in my vlogs were really here.  At least then I could have someone to tell me to stop whining and do something constructive.

Also, I'd have someone to run the camera for me.

William the Bloody Going Out of His Mind Redd

P.S. VEDA Day 20 - Some behind the scenes fun from last weekend's shoot:

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